This is the place I've decided to call "The Duskie Zone." I will use it to ponder life's mysteries, make brilliant observations about human nature, and piss and moan about the angst du jour. If you have some grumbling of your own you would like to express here, or have anything profound, witty, or disturbing you'd like to see posted, please email your comments to me, and if I deem them "web worthy" (it is my site, after all <g>), you may find your words immortalized here, at least for a brief time.
It's been quite some time since I changed this page, but I think the time has come. I've decided to rant this time about "net etiquette," or for those of you who aren't sure what that means....how to behave like civilized human beings online.
There is something about not being able to see another person's face that will make an ordinarily bright, polite person suddenly turn into a rude, obnoxious, lecherous dweeb. Men tend to be more guilty of this than women, but even women will say things online to total strangers that they would never say in person. THINK before you type. If you wouldn't walk up to a woman in your office and ask her what color her panties are, don't do it online, either. If you're married, and you wouldn't cheat on your spouse in person, don't have cyber sex.
Oh, I know.... I can hear a lot of you saying, "But it's not real sex. It's not really cheating." Okay, I can agree with that to a certain extent. But what happens more often than not, is that pretty soon, it becomes more than just "playing" and you start to have feelings for the person at the other end of the modem line. Even if the feelings are based on a fantasy and not reality, the feelings are still there. I spend a lot of time in chat rooms, and I see hundreds of married people spending all their waking hours on the computer, having cyber sex or flirting with the opposite sex, while their spouse is sitting in another room, wondering why the marriage is falling apart, and why they never have sex anymore. Come on people....if you put HALF as much effort into your REAL relationships as you do the online ones, you would probably be a lot happier.
I know it's easier to sit in front of a computer screen and imagine the person you're chatting with is the most wonderful, exciting person you have ever met. But think about it. It's easy to be sweet, charming and romantic online. There are none of the day to day problems and hassles that are involved with a real relationship. You can block out work, your children, your spouse, the bills, the in-laws, etc., and become completely wrapped up in only each other. It's a powerful temptation....I know. I've been there. I'm not saying that people don't find true love and happiness on the net. It happens. But most of the time, a cyber relationship (especially a long-distance one) is going nowhere, and will only end up hurting not only the people involved in that relationship, but it usually ends up hurting the people in their REAL lives, whether they want to believe it or not. I have seen many people insist, "Oh, my spouse knows NOTHING about my online affair." If you're spending all your time at the computer, and you're not going to bed with your mate at night, because you're too involved with your cyber buddy to drag yourself away and have LIVE sex, then trust me....they know. Unless your partner has the IQ of tapioca, they know something is going on. I actually saw a woman in a chat room one day, complaining that her husband kept deleting her email address book, and uninstalling her chat programs, but insisted he didn't know about her online affair. DUH!
Another issue I'd like to mention here is the online stalker. People...there are a LOT of lonely, desperate folks out there, and sometimes all it takes is giving them a little attention and being nice to them. It often doesn't even take cyber sex to get someone so hooked on you that they think they're in love, and are determined to have you, no matter what. Just in my own little circle of friends recently, we've had to deal with this issue quite a bit. Sometimes it's fairly harmless, and easily squelched, but sometimes it's not. It is WAY too easy for a person to track someone down through an email address. Most people even have their street address and phone number listed online a BUNCH of places and don't even realize it. Anyone determined to find out where you live, can probably do so, and it's not as hard as you think. I've had problems with this myself, so I know of what I speak. I've had to change my phone number and block incoming calls from certain people in the past.
We've all heard the horror stories about women meeting some charming guy online, and when she goes to meet him in person, he turns out to be a psychotic killer. Granted, that's the extreme end of the spectrum, but it DOES happen. The internet is a ripe playground for all sorts of whackos and perverts, and it's often hard to tell what kind of person someone is just chatting with them online, especially if you're fairly new to the online thing.
Believe me, I'm not saying you should never go into another chat room again. I love chatting and getting to know new people, and make friends. And I've actually met hundreds of people in person, most of whom have turned out to be very nice, normal folks, but on the net, as in real life....there are always going to be a few nutcases. You just have to use a little common sense and discretion.
One more thought on internet behavior....if you wouldn't walk up to a stranger and call them a fat, ugly bitch....DON'T DO IT ONLINE EITHER. USE YOUR HEAD. BE A GROWN-UP. There's too much anger and hostility in life as it is...let's try to make the net a little nicer place to play.
